Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Welcome to ESPNBABY!

We're now entering hour 3 of tonight's Baby Relay!

For those just joining us, the rules are as follows:

Baby 1 startles awake screaming. What's wrong? That's for her to know, and for you to find out. Or maybe not, it's all the same to her. Could be hunger, a wet diaper, cold feet, random bear attack, who knows. The clock starts now for your first leg.

Nothing seems to be working. She's pitching an impressively acrobatic hissy fit. She's been fed, burped, changed, sleep-sack-ed, Tylenol-ed, bounced, rocked, walked, played music, offered a pacifier... finally seems seems to give in and settle a bit.

Not so you can sleep... because your head hitting the pillow is the cue for the baton handoff to start leg 2. Baby 2 starts gearing up, in his own distinctive style - no hissy fits for him: he aims for maximum disorientation by alternating heartbreaking crying with occasional momentary bursts of laughter. He gets the same run-through: fed, burped, changed, sleep-sack-ed, Tylenol-ed, bounced, rocked, walked, played music...

You'll repeat these same steps for legs 3, 4, and maybe even 5.

Finally, at long last, all is quiet. They're asleep! You've won! Right? Right?

Right. Good luck getting yourself to sleep now...

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