Thursday, March 6, 2014


If there's one burden I've wished I could bear for my sisters, it's infertility. If I had to go through it, it should only have been fair that they wouldn't - why should it happen to more than one of us? Infertility (as the link above explains so well) is a peculiar, particular kind of grief, overwhelming and recurring, nearly impossible to ever really process. Sharing that grief can alleviate it a little, and can also draw everyone suffering even further down. Sharing that grief with a sister means that each is grieving their own child... and their nieces and nephews who have been not-to-be. Over the years, my sister has grieved with me and for me, and I with her and for her.

When my kids came along, they were (and are) my greatest joy, and I know my sisters take every joy in them as well, but we all grieved that they wouldn't have same-age cousins to grow up with. As we experienced growing up, close cousins are something incredible - they're siblings, but siblings who aren't all up in your business all the time - how awesome is that?

When my kids were 9 months old, Little Man came into our lives. He was the sweetest baby, and we all loved him, and my kids loved having a cousin, but he wasn't Forever. Shortly before he went back to his family, Avery came along. He was scared and confused, and it took a while for all of us to get to know each other, but when we went to Colorado over Christmas, it happened.

They were a gang. They were Cousins. They were nearly inseparable, and got up to all kinds of shenanigans as a threesome. My kids suddenly picked up a TON of new words on that trip, and all three of them just chattered nonstop to each other all the time, swapped preferred breakfast items, had impromptu raves and truck races in the hallway. They were a unit, different but just as cohesive as The Twins can be.

Cousins at MY cousin's wedding
Two days ago, Avery became ours. Ok, he became Abbey and Dane's, but he became ours, too. He's officially Family, he's officially a Forever Cousin, and he's already enriched our lives more than I can say.

Welcome, Avery Joel Daniels. We love you.

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