"Normal"

I've had a couple of funny conversations come up lately.

The other day, while having dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in much too long, she asked me what has surprised me most about having twins.

My answer? Nothing, honestly. I don't know anything different. There was a family sitting at a table near us, and they were leaving as we were having this conversation. I pointed out the child with them, who was about the age of my kids, and told her that my "normal" is so normal to me that I'd had a nagging feeling all evening of, "where's the other one?" When they got up from the table and picked up the little boy to leave, I thought, "they're forgetting one!" My brain just works in twos now. As a great twin-book we got at a baby shower says, it's double-everything. Double diapers, double pajamas, double hugs, double cheese and macaroni. Or halves - I can't just make one lunch (as I discovered the other day when only taking one kid to Mothers Day Out) - then what would I do with the other half of the sandwich, the apple, the fig bar?

Mothers Day Out has been a great thing for them, and I'm so glad it's worked out that way. It took Steven a few days to adjust, but now I have to drag him out while he struggles to go give one more kiss, one more hug, one more "HI!!!" to a teacher next door. Half the time, when I get there to pick them up, they're holding hands and racing around the room - apparently they do that a lot. This never happens at home... I think they appreciate each other that much more when there are other kids around.

Or when they're cooped up inside
for days because of ice.

The other conversation came up when I was searching old chats for our lawn guy's phone number (exciting, I know) - I was scanning through a chat that came up in the search when I saw from my husband, "How are you feeling today? Pregnant? Not pregnant? Normal?" I answered, "Normal, I guess." And his reply? "Well, I guess we'll know for sure tomorrow."

We had NO idea that day that "tomorrow" our normal would change completely. We'd waited and waited for so long, we honestly didn't even dare to hope. That chat sent me down the rabbit hole of other chats about what we thought our life would be like once they came, and the day they were born, and the day after (we chat a lot) - bittersweet conversations about the first set of pictures he took in the delivery room, where we realized I hadn't actually ever seen either of my babies naked; more bittersweet conversations about tests being run and tubes being pulled; sweeter conversations about moving into the Special Care nursery where we'd be able to stay with them all the time. I had NO idea, no way of knowing, that this...

...would be our world, our life, our normal.